Book Review: “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn. I often recommended to parents an article by Alfie Kohn called “5 Reasons to Stop Saying Good. Unconditional Parenting has ratings and reviews. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by. 54 quotes from Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason: ‘Even before i had children, I knew that being a parent w.

Author: Faukree Najora
Country: Lesotho
Language: English (Spanish)
Genre: Life
Published (Last): 19 May 2009
Pages: 338
PDF File Size: 5.74 Mb
ePub File Size: 12.37 Mb
ISBN: 304-2-78967-422-7
Downloads: 22594
Price: Free* [*Free Regsitration Required]
Uploader: Sazshura

Your child asks you about a brownie, after she refused to eat her lunch and then spent an hour whining for a snack.

Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn

So “you can feel your patience ebbing” is an understatement because it’s as unconditionzl you said nothing at all to this child. Our Relationship Alive Community on Facebook. Perspective Taking While many people dismiss those with whom they disagree “How can she hold that position on abortion!

Jul 02, Sonya Feher rated it it was ok Shelves: Just as much research exist to prove a point for behavioristic methods as for Alfies more romantic approaches. Just paying attention to what kids are doing and showing interest in their activities is a form of encouragement. Consequences occur naturally in life. The Impact of Gratitude Parents – all of them. We are not living in the utopia that Kohn imagines. Put the relationship first: This sets his book apart from most of the books on the shelf in its rigorous scientific basis.

It’s behaviors that imply or communicate to a child that you only love them if they do XYZ. I am a functioning human being with needs, goals, objectives, and emotions that are oftentimes in conflict with my children’s.


That makes things a lot easier on me while I’m cooking. Even more liberating is the recognition alfif other parents, too, have dark moments when they catch themselves not liking their own child, or wondering whether it’s all worth it, or entertaining various other unspeakable thoughts.

When children ask whether it’s okay to do something, it often makes sense to respond with “Well, what do you think? Kohn expects the parent to be ever self-sacrificing, ever-searching for pure motivations behind their children’s behavior.

If you’re a parent, are going to be a parent, or are just interested in research-based parenting, this is the book to start with. I had no idea. Aug 18, Yeliz rated it really liked it.

Happy Kids, Better Relationship: Unconditional Parenting with Alfie Kohn – Neil

Hopefully you can build a …more I alffie it is helpful with teenagers. Parenting and childrearing is a messy business, and parents and children change and vary and different things have different effects on different people.

His case seems strong to a layman like me, though I can imagine a lot of convincing is needed for many parents or parents-to-be. Anyway, back to the responding to bad behavior with calm reassurance of endless love: Along with Kohn’s pedantic writing style is a disturbing lack of cited research to back up his wide statements about the effects of certain parenting solutions.

You can take special delight when your child does something remarkable, but, again, not in a way that suggests your love hinges on such events.

Second, apologizing takes you off of your perfect parent pedestal and remind them that you’re fallible. It’s not “delight” all the time, and you can’t always pay attention to them — parentin not as much as they want.


This was an amazing book.

All this to underscore the certainty of the thesis. I feel confident that this is the type of parenting that will allow me to have an open relationship with my girls even when they are teenagers, and even when we disagree fingers crossed.

Parenring and convincing although I didn’t really need convincing, just more information and backup.

Unconditional Parenting Quotes

And I am so glad that I did. I will This was an amazing book. I especially needed to hear 7 and 10 today. Talk less, ask more!! My favorite idea was that the constant “good job” assumes This book is one of the standards of positive parenting, and I beleive it was Kohn who coined the phrase, “Praise Junkie”, which appears in this book.

Undefended Love with Jett Psaris I largely agree with this book’s uncnoditional punishments including time out and subtler “love-withdrawal” reactions and even rewards including a constant stream of “good job! If there are some important battles on the line, or even if I’m flat out of patience, I win the battle.

I would have liked to see more of a bridging and a reflecting aim than the campaigning and oversimplifying categorizing that was going on here. I love those pictures! Refresh and try again.